


(i wish) i found love

by QQI25



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Drunk Peter Parker, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 14:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19907134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QQI25/pseuds/QQI25
Summary: Peter uses some of Thor's Asgardian mead to make a more souped-up version, and goes to Avengers Tower crooning about Wade's ass.Based off of chapter 257!Title from Hayley Kiyoko's new song I Wish! Go watch the full-length vid it's so good!





	1. Nat

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Spideypool Ficlet Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16857568) by [SymbioteSpideypool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SymbioteSpideypool/pseuds/SymbioteSpideypool). 



> contenders for the title:  
> \- Drunken Confessions at 4am (based off the prompt and also the title of it in my docs)  
> \- you can call me ANYTIME (w/ or w/o caps; it's from a vine/vid)  
> \- (i wish) i found love (obvs the title tht won! it's from hk's new song I Wish)

Nat and Steve, equipped with knives and a shield respectively, are the first people to find Spider-Man. He’s sprawled out under a window that seems to be his entry point. 

“Spider-Man is in the tower,” J.A.R.V.I.S. supplies, a little late. 

“Thank you J.A.R.V.I.S,” Steve says. 

“You’re welcome, captain.”

“Hi Cap!” Spider-Man says, face still on the ground. 

“Do I need to send for a gurney?” Bruce yells. 

“I think we’re good,” Nat yells back. Spider-Man gets up at that moment and rests his hand on her shoulder. 

“We never . . . never have spider team ups,” he says to her sadly. “Think about it; it’d be amazing.” She bites her lip to hold back a smile and is saved from having to respond by Tony showing up. Nat can tell when Tony arrives, because Spider-Man absolutely lights up in such an obvious way the mask can’t hide. 

“Dude, I fucking love you so fucking much!” Spider-Man shouts with his hands cupped around his mouth. He then turns back to Nat and whispers very very loudly to her, “you know, Tony’s my _he_ ro.” 

“What’s up with _him_?” Tony asks. Spider-Man starts laughing, clapping a hand on Tony’s shoulder. 

“I accidentally got _drunk_ ,” Spider-Man says conspiratorially, before bursting into laughter again. 

“I thought enhanced metabolism meant not getting drunk,” Tony says, turning to Steve. Steve shrugs. 

“Thor?” 

“Damn, Spider-Kid.” Tony whistles. 

“I’m not . . . not a kid! ‘M over 21!” 

They coax him over to the living room, where Clint and Sam also make their way to, and wrap him in a blanket burrito. 

“Thanks guys! I love blankets! And blanket burritos! And regular burritos! And also _Wade_ likes regular burritos! Oh yeah, that’s why I _came_! Did you guys see Wade? Wade Wilson? Deadpool? Did he come here?”

“Sure he came here,” Clint offers, “but he left not long after.” 

“Oh,” Spider-Man says dejectedly. “Did you guys know I love him? I love him so much! He’s just so funny and smart and _strong_ and capable! You know what I hate? I hate that he’s not here and I _hate_ JJ’s stupid fucking articles and I hate stupid fucking enhanced senses!”

“Awww there, there,” Clint coos. “Let it alllll out little Spidey.” He pets Spider-Man’s head, and then Spider-Man pops back up. 

“But you know what I _want_? I want to kiss Wade on his stupidly kissable lips and kiss his forehead and hold his hand and tell him how much I love him. I want to hang out with him all day at home and when we get bored I want to spice it up with some sex. It doesn’t even hafta be in a bed! We could fuck on the sofa or in the kitchen or on the floor or against the wall or in the shower or even on the fucking ceiling!” Spider-Man giggles. The other Avengers are starting to get a little uncomfortable, and Clint must notice too, because he smirks. 

“Oh yeah?” Spider-Man nods vigorously and Tony groans. 

“And what I _most_ wanna do is bend him over the table and fuck his brains out because have you seen his _ass_? I’ve for _sure_ seen it, and like, sorry Cap, but I’m pretty sure it rivals yours,” he says with a shrug. “It’s just so round and plump and juicy and thick and _fuckable_ and I want it to be _mine_.” He sighs dreamily and falls back on the couch only to pop up again. 

“I want it to be mine,” he repeats with a sob. “I want Wade Wilson’s round and plump and juicy and thick and fuckable ass to be mine.” And then he really starts sobbing. 

“Okay! I’m out,” Tony says, throwing his hands up. 

“Yeah, me too,” Bruce says. “Sorry guys.” Clint looks at them with a wiggle of his eyebrows and Nat slaps his shoulder lightly. 

“ _Ow_ , Nat.” He rubs his arm and she rolls her eyes. 

“You’re _fine_ , drama queen.” 

“Nat, don’t be mean to him,” Spider-Man says. “You guys are both my friends and I don’t want my friends fighting. You’re my friends too, Sam and Cap, but you’re not fighting.” 

“ _Yeah_ , don’t be _mean_ to me, Nat.” Clint sticks his tongue out at her and she rolls her eyes again. 

“Now, now, children,” Cap says. 

“Aww Cap, not you too.”

“I’m not a children!” The way he thumps his fists on his thighs, plus the knowledge that he was just sobbing, plus the fact that he’s all wrapped up in a blanket burrito really seem to contradict that statement. 

“I’m gonna go make us something to eat,” Sam says, shaking his head. 

The five of them end up eating breakfast foods, Spider-Man still in his blanket burrito. 

“Thanks Sam! It’s like my mouth is having an orgasm. Man, I bet Wade would love this. Delicious. Finally, some good fucking food.” 

“Alright, I’m texting Wade,” Nat says. She’s been considering it for a while; all she needs to do at this point is hit send, which she does. 

“Wait, _I’m_ gonna text Wade!” Clint hurriedly taps at his screen, presumably composing a message. 

“I’ve already sent a text, dipshit.”

“And _I’ve_ already sent a text too!”

“Ooh I wanna send him a text too!” Spider-Man takes out his phone. They’re a fucking mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- sry it like barely has any of nat's pov!!  
> \- nvr been drunk so idk wht being drunks like!!


	2. Wade

**Iron Dickhead**  
Please come get your dog.   
Well, spider I guess.   
Not as funny as I thought it’d be.  
Spider-Man’s looking for you, is what I mean. 

**Spider Momma**  
Spider-Man’s here at the tower.   
Extraction and retrieval requested. 

**Hawkguy**  
SPIDEY HAS A MSG FOR U.   
COME TO TWR ASAP!

**Spider Babe**  
babe come to tonys twoerr!!!  
tht was autocororoect o thonk i menat wade  
wait i dont havr autocorect on   
anywysx were hvang a pattyr!!!!  
i msidsss yuou  
why fifnt you wait for me i wsntbed to fome see toyu  
were bot scittalllly haivj g a party but you shodul xome anyayw

Being woken up at 3am is always fucking annoying, but it’s even more annoying when you’re someone who rarely sleeps longer than a few hours at a time. And in Wade’s case, he gets woken up by four different people texting him. He doesn’t hate them, but he sure does hate getting texts at ass o’clock. He goes anyway, because he’s curious. Curiosity _may_ kill the cat, but satisfaction brings it back. 

“Now what the fuck is this all about?” Wade asks when he enters the common room J.A.R.V.I.S. has kindly told him Spidey and them are in. 

“WADE!” He gets an armful of Spidey and blanket burrito. Spidey who seems to be . . . drunk?

“We think Thor gave him Asgardian mead,” Cap explains. 

“Wrong! He reverse engineered the Asgardian mead that Thor once gave him and accidentally got drunk off _that_!” 

“Huh. That’s pretty fuckin’ impressive, Spidey.” Spidey preens when Wade pats him on the head. 

“Alright, we’re gonna leave you two lovebirds alone. Be safe!” Clint and co. lead him and Spidey to a guest bedroom and close the door behind them. 

“Looks like it’s just us, Mr. Handsome Hunk,” Spidey purrs. 

“Looks like,” he tries to say nonchalantly. Spidey’s hand mimics a spider, his fingers crawling up Wade’s chest to caress his cheek. 

“If I had my way with you, I’d first kiss you on your lips. Then I’d kiss you on your forehead and your cheek and your nose and everywhere on your face. I’d hold your hand and I’d tell you I love you allllll day,” Spidey says. 

“All day, huh?”

“Yeah. Still wouldn’t be enough though. ‘Cause you’re so funny and smart and kind and cool and strong and capable and real. I love you! I’d trap you at my house! But only if you wanted to be there. And we’d hang out all day. And we could spice things up with sex!” If Wade had had a drink, he’d definitely have choked on it. It’s almost too good to be true. He wonders, not for the first time, if he’s actually still in bed at home dreaming.

“And the special thing is that it wouldn’t have to be in a bed! We could fuck on the sofa and in the kitchen and on the floor and against the wall and in the shower and on the ceiling! The fucking ceiling! The most exciting thing is! I’d bend you over the table, dining table or counter, not picky, and fuck your brains out. The fucking _ass_ on you babe, _god_ , how I’d love to just stare at it. All day long. I’d stare at it and tell you I love you, I love you, I love you. And your ass. Can’t forget about that ass, babe. Unforgettably round and plump and juicy and thick and _fuckable_.” The whole time Pete says all this, he’s staring Wade in the eyes, so focused and so full of truth. It’s a little terrifying, if Wade’s gonna be honest. Pete lays down with his head in Wade’s lap, where a special someone is making a guest appearance, and then turns around so he’s facing it. 

“Would it be weird if I nuzzled your dick with my face?” Pete says quietly at Wade’s dick. And oh _god_ how unweird it would be, how badly Wade wants that too. But Pete’s drunk, and he’ll probably regret doing that in the morning. Even if he wouldn’t, that’s _so_ against Wade’s morals. 

“Uh, maybe next time, Pete,” Wade says hoarsely. “I’m a little tired. I _did_ get woken up at a time that _no_ body should get woken up.” 

“You’re right! Sorry! I didn’t even think about that. Aww, you poor baby,” Peter coos. He’s sitting up again and stroking Wade’s cheek. “Let’s go to sleep. I promise I won’t do anything to you. We can just sleep together.” Pete scoots back so he’s in the center of the bed and pats the space next to him. Wade wonders if he’s a horrible person for not being able to resist.

“Sure, Pete. Let’s sleep.” He says to himself that he’ll leave when Pete falls asleep. 

“I’m hot. Let’s sleep on top of the covers, how ‘bout?”

“Whatever you want.” So Pete lays down facing Wade, but then he extends his arm so Wade can lay on it. Wade’s heart is full to bursting, and he wonders if it’s possible to die from feeling so loved. He lays down on it, of course, and Pete uses his free hand to stroke his cheek. 

“Good night, honey pie,” Pete says. He falls asleep quickly, but Wade steals a few more moments in his arms. He gets up slowly, leaving a pillow in his place, and Pete luckily doesn’t wake up at all. 

Wade leaves a note on the bedside table and takes one last look at Pete before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- ik spideys rant is basically copy paste lol (it's not i just had the prev one as a ref to look at)  
> \- it switches from spidey to pete but. idk wht i was thinking hvng wade not kno petes id so let's just say it's bc he didn't wna out him to the othr supers (agnst the bro code!!)


	3. Peter

Peter wakes up to a fucking _pounding_ headache and a disgusting mouth feel. His arms are also around a pillow? At second glance, the pillow and the bed and the room aren’t his. He’s _def_ initely in a tower guest room. And then he remembers the night before. 

He’d been fucking around with the alcohol that Thor had given him a while back, trying to make a more souped up version and yeah . . . he’d definitely made a more souped up version, to say the least. He’d stupidly zoned out while leaning over the test tubes, definitely _not_ thinking about a certain someone, and then headed out to follow that certain someone, because he thought he’d seen them go to the tower. Somehow maybe he’d be able to catch Wade even though he’d seen him go there more than an hour before. Ridiculous. Now he understands how badly alcohol can fuck you up. 

_Fuck_. Then he’d said some super embarrassing shit to the _Avengers_. He might kill Clint for egging him on if the embarrassment doesn’t take him out first. And then he’d said it to fucking Wade. _Wade_. _Wade_ , towards whom those fucking statements are directed at. Wade, who’s gone. Damn, he’d probably been scared right the fuck off. He slowly and reluctantly gets up, not without groaning and complaining, and his eyes spot the paper on the bedside table. 

There’s two drawings on the front: Deadpool holding a swooning Spider-Man, and Spider-Man holding a swooning Deadpool, both in their suits. Under it is “1 or 2?” He doesn’t know if he wants to open it, but he’s morbidly curious and nothing if not a tiny bit of a masochist, evidently, so he unfolds it. It says “if you’re still up for 1/30 of what you were saying last night, call me!” and then Wade’s number, and an “XOXO, Wade”. He smiles this big, goofy grin that’s probably making him look like an idiot, but no one’s in the room with him and Wade feels the same way he does, and _that’s_ all that matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- oh whoaa it's shorter than i thought it'd be   
> \- anyway if there are any mistakes, pls tell me!! :-)  
> \- i hope u liked it!!

**Author's Note:**

> \- sry it like barely has any of nat's pov!!   
> \- nvr been drunk so idk wht being drunks like!!


End file.
